On a nondescript autumn day, I received a phone call with the news that a dear old friend had died. We hadn’t seen each other for a long time, yet she had been on my mind a lot through the years and particularly since this summer. I believe that God places people on our hearts for a reason and so I had inquired of her in early summer and learned from a family friend that she had been going through a very difficult time and was now addicted to various drugs and going through a rehab program. They thought that it might make a difference if I took the time to write her, since she had always looked up to me. I carefully placed her address in my purse and began to pray about how I might write just the appropriate words to reach her.
Melissa was only 22 and had suffered greatly throughout her life. Her Mother left her and her sisters when they were only little girls and they were raised solely by their Father who surely did his best, but they often longed for a Mother’s love. It was at this time when Melissa and her two sisters came into my life through the little church where I taught third-grade Sunday School. She and I fast became great friends – I remember how she would eagerly help with the setup of our Sunday School classroom, preparing lesson materials, helping with the bulletin board designs and just following me around with whatever I had to do. She was generally a quiet, sweet-natured little girl – brown hair and freckles with the kindest blue eyes - and very artistic. The two of us would talk about an array of subjects and although I wasn’t married yet and had no children of my own, during those years, it was as if she were my own little girl.
The years went on and she remained in my life through both a wedding and the birth of my daughter. The last visit that I had with her is etched both in my mind and on a few photographs. She was around 12 years-old and still ever the smiling little girl, happy to be spending time with my husband and I and our precocious little 2 year-old.
We moved away shortly after that visit and the years flew by, like they have a habit of doing. The years brought many changes in both of our lives and we lost touch. Yet every Christmas I would lovingly place on our tree, the little angel ornament given to me while she was in the third grade, with the inscription on the back “Thank You to Linda, from Melissa”.
I carried her address around with me all summer, waiting for just the right time or just the right words to share. I had begun to gather old photos of happy times together, figuring that if she were to be reminded of how we once were; somehow it might spark some sort of change in her life. Unfortunately though, in late September of this year, all of those chances to make a difference came to an end, when she sadly took her own life, alone in a hotel room.
Since that time, I’ve been in touch with her family and I shared the photos of our happy times together and the photos did indeed bring comfort during a most indescribable painful time. It turns out that Melissa became a highly gifted writer in her short life – oh not in the published sense - but she left a series of journals, letters, online blogs. It turns out that at many points in her short life, she really did grasp the deeper meaning of things in a way that some people may never come to realize. Her Dad reminded me that she loved me deeply. I did make a difference, if only for a short time of her life; I only wish that I had acted sooner to let her know that I still loved her very much in the present day.
At this Christmas season, a time where we fill our “to-do” lists with so many “things”, I hope that we each might remember the fleeting opportunities that we have to make a difference in people’s lives. Other things can always wait, but people cannot. A new day is not guaranteed for any of us.
©by Linda M. Kelley, 2007
The Rantoul Press, Monthly Expressions Column, December 12, 2007
